Why don’t I sleep in our bed anymore? Give me a minute and I can easily come up with a thousand excuses. There must be something else, playing both therapist and patient, I’ve come up with:
1. His snoring does wake me over and over
2. He sleeps with the TV on mute, blue light and flickering is annoying
3. My hound doesn’t come upstairs as often and no longer sleeps in bed as he ages and the climb is too difficult
4. I wake with a back ache
5. There is no “reason” for me to BE IN THE BED
6. Claustrophobia – feeling trapped
7. I sleep too many hours when I sleep in bed
8. No intimacy so it’s a form of defiance and punishment
9. I am lonely in the big bed and feel further away than when I’m downstairs
10. My sleep cycle is a disaster
11. I can’t write my truth in bed
12. I can’t read in bed
13. I feel almost like an intruder
14. It doesn’t feel like “home” anymore.
I keep looking at new bedding: duvet, sheets, pillows and a special mattress pad called “cloud”. Perhaps if I felt as though it was my bed than I would get back in? Right now it is his bed. His bedroom.
The woman who promised herself that she’d stop shopping is going to look online for new bedding. This is not shopping, it is cognitive behavioral therapy.